Jonathan
Sometimes I wake up on the sidewalk, sometimes on a bench in a park. When I'm lucky I may sleep upright on a chair at a drop-in center when they have room—but this isn't very often. Still, instead of always dwelling on the fact that I'm homeless, I like to think that my home is everywhere. And that I am just as much an important part of society as everyone else. I have ideas, I have needs, but most of all I have a heart and compassion for people, which I believe, connects us all as human beings.

My name is Jonathan, and I have been frequenting drop-in centers for about two years now. You may wonder why I don't try to find housing from the city and admit myself to a men's shelter. To tell you the truth, I have been a part of the shelter system already. There were so many horrible and inhumane things that happened there that I choose to live on the streets over putting up with the inefficiencies and gross inadequacies that the NYC shelters have characteristically forced upon people they are trying to "help." It's really sad that a city agency that has been created for the sole purpose of helping people like me survive and then move on from homelessness has proven to be such a formidable obstacle not only in my recovery process. It's just not fair, and with all the other issues that homeless people have to deal with, the shelter system was not a burden I can take on at this time or ever again.

There are definitely advantages to surviving by using drop-in centers. In the shelters, I saw people assaulted by workers. But the people here seem to genuinely care about us -- which makes all the difference in the world. In the shelters, when they did pay attention to you, they said , 'I’m going to help you achieve all of your goals,' and here it is three years later I’m still in the same predicament. So that's a bold-faced lie and it makes you not want to trust anybody. Here at the drop-in center, they operate a little bit differently. Everybody here tells you the truth, whether you like it or not. The workers never say ‘I’m going to…’ they always say, ‘I’ll see if I can.’ They never make a guarantee because nothing is guaranteed in life. So they always say, ‘I’m going to work on your issue. It may be slow, but I will work on it.’ When people treat you that way—with respect and with true commitment to your issues—that’s the way things are accomplished. It takes some getting used to. But they never stop caring. They never stop working hard. This place is more dedicated to us than any shelter I know.

Here we are fortunate enough to have access to meals six days a week. They have caseworkers available to help us manage our lives. We even have a medical clinic provided to us by Care for the Homeless for when we need medical attention and we don't have any money or any Medicaid. We get more done in one day at these small drop-in centers—with our concentrated attention and dedicated workers—than thousands of people get accomplished after six months in a shelter. It’s sad but many of us have found that you have to come to little agencies like this, whose workers’ hearts are really into this work; whose staff members have a caring heart and really want to see us come out of the shelter, get our own place, get a job, build a family, and lead a law-abiding life. With good caseworkers, you can get public assistance, referred for housing, better living conditions, clothes, toiletry items—whatever it is that you need, you can nourish yourself. They’ll go the distance and beyond. Sadly enough, this is all that any of us want, and that dream seems so far away to most of us for so many reasons. But with the proper care and steady perseverance of not only our workers—but most importantly ourselves—we recognize that our dreams are not unattainable and it gives us the motivation to carry on when you're lying on a sidewalk and you don't think you can wake up today.

See other stories at "Homeless Voices."