CZ
When CZ arrived in the United States from the Balkans, she could tell that “Americans and New Yorkers have more freedom. The way they walk, the way they speak, it’s a reflection of their freedom.” She vowed to try “to get as much as I can from that freedom.” As she speaks, this reserved and soft-spoken woman has an undeniable air of innocence. Yet her deep, seemingly aged eyes tell a different story.

Less than a decade ago, CZ was faced with the turmoil of civil war in her native country. When her city was threatened to be bombed, she decided she “didn’t want to see anymore of that horrible situation.” Her demeanor stiffens as she explains the gruesome hardships of war. She recounts, shyly gesturing to herself, about the horrific rapes and murders which left her desperate to escape. Faced with persecution, CZ was sure she couldn’t take anymore and fled to America.

As a political refugee, CZ came to America in search of a better life and some peace of mind. In search of shelter and support, CZ found a church to assist her with food and shelter for several weeks. She eventually found a job, yet desperately needed psychological help. She unsuccessfully struggled to keep her job as nightmares of war continually haunted her. She often had visions that the army court in her country was torturing her brother and parents. She matter-of-factly explains that these are normal procedures when a family member flees the country. The remaining relatives are persecuted.

While in serious need of mental health resources, CZ entered the shelter system and was placed at Kingsbridge Women’s Assessment Center in the Bronx. CZ explains that the social services team of Care for the Homeless was “very helpful, they were there to help all my problems.” She felt as though it was a “hand given to her” even when everything else seemed to be going wrong. After being in and out of the hospital for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, CZ now “gets treatment and feels better.” CZ’s voice gets a hint louder and more excited as she talks about a Kingsbridge staff member, Shelly Moore, who “through the different experiences in my life, was there to listen to me, to speak with me about my problems.”

CZ also found solace in the various activities offered at Kingsbridge. She participated in many workshops that helped her “through being introduced to American culture” and were her “introduction to American problems and American society.” For CZ, being alone in a foreign land meant she wanted to be around people, and she found that in the shelter. Kingsbridge “was like a school” to her, “especially for English.” Being around people and learning about America and about herself, CZ began to feel “hopeful” that she’d gain political asylum and “have a better life.”

CZ explains, “It was like a stepping stone for me to live in the shelter…to get myself together and to look for a lot of possibility.” Her eyes widen and she looks optimistic as she proclaims that “workshops are a great thing to make a difference…to help the residents to understand that even though they are in a difficult situation, they can start and grow their life again.” She states that “even though there are opinions from others that shelters are not a good place to be, it’s a very good help.”

With a sad but wise tone, CZ tells about the many different people that she met in the shelter. “They were so innocent and they had accidents…like lost their property and they ended up homeless without anything.” She also noticed that some people in the shelter become dependent, but she believes it is “not because they want to be like this, but they lose their self-esteem and their hope that they are able to do something.” CZ admits that she too has felt like this at times, “You think at that moment that you are a loser, but you are not, because it is just one moment in your life.” She realizes that while being homeless “you suffer something not in regular life” but “there is help for you in that difficult moment.” For CZ, this help came from Care for the Homeless and the social services provided at Kingsbridge.

CZ recognizes the importance of this safety net and the “helping hand” that led her to a “housing program and a better life.” She advises other people in her position to “trust the social workers and the services” even though “living in a shelter is not easy.” CZ’s creative outlets of poetry and art helped “express my situation and my experience in America and back home in my country” and are now award-winning. She continues to exercise her freedoms through art and plans to attend college to be an art teacher. CZ happily lives with a family she describes as “like my parents” through a Family Care Program.
After years of homelessness and obstacles, CZ has been granted political asylum. When thinking back to a time when her life was endangered by the brutality of others and now her new found freedom in the United States, CZ reflects, “I am very happy that I have it. It’s wonderful, like a big change, a 100% change.” CZ’s inner strength coupled with the help of Care for the Homeless helped her to make the best of that “one moment” in her life.

See other stories at "Homeless Voices."